Hi everyone! It's that time of year again- time for Hermione_Smut exchange. At this stage prompts can be submitted for adoption!
CLICK ME to visit the exchange!!
Hi everyone :)
Just a quick update to let you know exchange fics will begin posting in the next few days. The extension date is now over and I am just waiting for the final fics to make their way to me :)
I haven't had access to my email for a few days but I will answer them all tomorrow.
MistressMalfoy (still without her beloved comma)
Happy Birthday to our dear
We hope that your special day is absolutely wonderful, splendid and fabulous - Just like you.
With lots of love and hugs and kisses~
Your Granger Enchanted Sisters
There comes a time in a little site's life where it needs money to survive and unfortunately GE has once again reached that time.
Our last donation drive raised enough funds to keep the site going for an entire year and since then I (MistressMalfoy) have been funding the site myself.
Unfortunately this is a cost I can no longer sustain on my own and whilst it might not seem like a lot of money- when you have a small child to feed- clothe- water (lol) etc it does get a bit expensive trying to justify the indulgence which is GE.
With gentle prodding from my dear bestie (DHLane) she has encouraged me to post a donation button for a few days with the hopes that those who appreciate GE will be tempted (bribed) to donate even a dollar to help keep the site running.
Please do not feel obligated to donate but if you wish to and can (without financial hardship to yourselves) please feel free.
Your donation goes towards the running of Granger Enchanted. The hosting of the site and the domain registration. It also goes towards the increase in bandwidth as our site expands.
Thanks muchly for your time xoxo
MistressMalfoy and DHLane xoxo
SUPPORT GRANGER ENCHANTED
To the 18 authors participating in the fic exchange please check your email!
Your recipient and all the juicy details (in two separate emails) should now be waiting in your inbox!
Please let me know asap if you cannot meet the requirements or if your muse is not co-operating and I'll do my best to help you.
Much love MistressMalfoy who is still without her comma key :(
Our lovely Mistress Malfoy is currently unwell and needs to rest. For all of those participating in the Fic Exchange, do not despair. As soon as she feels better in a couple of days time, she will be matching up all of the signups. In the meantime, send her some well wishes so that she might recover quicker and be patient with her. As with all of those who are admin here at GE, she has a busy real life and sometimes things just get in the way.
Happy writing and reading.
The signup post for the fic exchange is now active!
Loads of commas because I used the onscreen keyboard lol
Hello my loves! I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Easter.
The previous post regarding the fic exchange was to gauge interest and this one is solid expressions of interest.
If you are wanting to participate please leave your details here and this time next week I will put up a post on Live Journal for registrations.
Just a few rules to note.
1. We will not be accepting newbies this round. As in previous rounds we have had several newbies who have not turned in fics and someone has missed out.
2. Only register if you are going to provide a fic. If you register then disappear I will delete your account. If you register and then change your mind please have the decency to let me know.
3. Please become a pinch hitter (see above point lol)
I am looking to have assignments sent out by the start of May and we will open up registration next week.
p.s if my news post is a bit rambly it's because my comma key on my laptop is broken lol
On behalf of myself and all the management I would like to wish you all a safe, happy and chocolicious Easter!!
New Challenge New Challenge New Challenge New Challenge
Brandy01 has issued a challenge to all writers of Hermione centric fanfiction. It is exciting, new and really unique! Head on over to The Manor and check it out.
It is gonna be amazing to read what the talented writers of GE and Malfoy Manor come up with. xoxoKel
When emailing admin with requests and joining the site.
1A. UNDERAGE MEMBERS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! We have a rather interesting kinship with several of the quality control and 18+ fanfic sites out there and one in particular has been a wonderful ally in finding underage users.
YOU WILL BE CAUGHT OUT! Trust me in the last week I have locked and blocked IP's of twenty underage members who foolishly list their ages on other sites for the world to see.
If I find you joined underage and are over 18 now you will still be deleted and shame on you for breaking the law and jeopardising what we've all worked so hard to build.
Underage users are not allowed here for the express reason, YOU ARE MINORS AND CANNOT MAKE A DECISION FOR YOURSELVES! Hence why all our stories of Hermione with an older male must be over 18! That is the law and we will abide by the law. I will not make concessions for ANY user. If you are underage PISS OFF WE DON'T WANT YOU! (but please do come when you're 18). If you are that desperate for fan fic, visit fanfiction.net :)
I know a few sites out there, that have been popping up recently, allow members from the age of 15 up to join their site. However after consulting with my lawyer,who informed me it is illegal to knowingly allow a minor into my registered site where there is content deemed unsafe for minors (this is smut people!) I can be held accountable. Thankfully with all the disclaimers we have in place, we will never be held accountable for a member lying about their age.
Now onto the boring email stuff!
1. I do not sit at the computer all day (I know this might seem odd but I do have a real life) so I cannot answer your emails instantly and most times within a few days. I have a job and a family who needs more attention than your hysterical request for a password, account deletion, log in problem, reviews missing etc so BE PATIENT
2. We do not change pen names for regular members. I know, I know we are tragically mean, cruel, horrid and bitches for not doing so, but really do you think I have time to trawl through pages of members just to find one member name and to change it from funkylover12 to ILoveRon? I don't.
3. People don't care that much about you.
I know it's a cruel thing to find out, but you know what? When you were 18 and joined the site under funkylover12 and now when you type in funkylover12 your name and profile comes up and now your new job might find out that you're a closet nerd who likes fan fiction, doesn't rate highly on my care list. Do you truly believe anyone would google search your email and associate you with a harry potter fanfic site? Here's a small truth, we protect emails and unless you have all your personal details listed in your profile (and oddly enough some of them are like reading a resume) I'm not going to change the world for you.
Your account is your account and you are responsible for keeping it secure and anonymous.
4. I am not a punching bag or your agony aunt.
Strange but true.
Don't abuse me, don't be nasty, don't be demanding and most of all don't threaten me.
I don't take to threats kindly and you'd better believe every single one that crosses my email is not only logged with my webhost (who has an IP log of every single email sent to me) but I forward those email to your ISP.
If you have a story to impart upon my weary ears and I don't know you, I haven't the time to muster the emotions to care. This might sound horribly cruel but I am a stranger to most of you and you wouldn't stop a man on the street and tell them your woes. However if you have my personal email and I know you, feel free to email me ;)
5. READ THE AUTO RESPONDER!!!
IE doesn't work. I know okay? And I've been bloody bleating on about it for roughly four years now. I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
THe auto responder has some awfully handy tips on being nice to the admin, what we can and cannot do and to be patient. It's not that hard, you wouldn't yell at your mother for dinner being late nor at a librarian who couldn't find your book quickly. So don't get cross at me!
6. I love you all truly I do.
But a witch can only be pushed so far before her skin turns green and she's wicked!
Emails that are instantly deleted without even being read: Password requests, username changes, email changes, reviews missing, IE not working for reviews and last but not least frequent account deletion requests. I keep one, yes that's right- ONE of your emails and the rest get trashed so don't bother hounding me for account deletions because I will get to it I promise and if you do somehow receive a response it is because you've annoyed me :)
Now to those who are sweet generous souls it is really you who I love and will continue to do so. The lovely members who obey the rules and pet my head when I'm stressed :D
p.s this ranty mcrant news post comes to you after reading 212 requests for password changes, username requests, forgotten usernames/passwords/emails etc the list goes on...
Please join me in welcoming Brandy01 to The Manor family. We are all very excited to inject new blood into the archive.
I hope you will greet her challenges and excitement with enthusiasm :D
Love MistressMalfoy xoxo
I have a job vacancy at Malfoy Manor for an admin position.
The position requirements:
1. You must pass the GE beta test
2. You must have an excellent grasp of the english language and spag
3. Be responsible for bringing in new authors and advertising on other forums/sites etc
3. Be available to liaise with MistressMalfoy and other admins
Please register your interest below and I will contact you shortly.
We are thinking about having our third annual fic exchange starting soon.
Please register your interest here :)
For those that are uninformed, a fic exchange is where you sign up to write a gift for someone else and you in turn get a gift back from another author :)
The Jane Eyre Inspired Challenge
There once was a castle, a beautiful sprawling castle set amongst the gentle rolling hills of the Cotswolds. A man lived there, a gentlemen who lived a life of luxurious importance, he was joined by a team of loyal servants that relished in the mystery surrounding the man.
And then she came along, a tiny slip of a witch, uninspiring in looks, short in stature but bubbling with magical power.
She intrigues him to the point of madness, turning his perceptions of the world inside out, she is everything to him yet one thing stands in their way of happiness...a deep dark secret he has harboured for years, one that will tear their world apart.
The boring rules!!
1. Must be set to the Jane Eyre (2011 movie) theme
2. Your male character must be one of the following
- Married openly and his wife is insane or :
- Married in secret with his insane wife hidden away
3. Hermione must be the following :
- Employed by your male character
- Early 20's
- A virgin
- Innocent in terms of intimacy with a male
4. Your story must contain the following
- An insane wife
- A fire set by the insane wife that Hermione rescues her man from
- Another woman (in Jane Eyre Miss Ingram is the love interest but you can make it whoever you like)
- An almost marriage (between your male character and Hermione)
- Hermione leaving her male when the truth comes out (but return when another male takes an interest in her)
- A Happy Ending
- Your male character should be impaired by the end, as in Jane Eyre but it does not have to be blindness.
More boring rules:
- Fic should be complete by the 14th of February
- Fic has a minimum count of 5000 words
- Fic should not be submitted to the archive until a beta has made corrections
- Fic can not be submitted unless it in complete (for wips, proof will be required)
Any questions? Wikipedia has the entire plot for both the movie and the original book, please only use the adult Jane storyline when changing it to the HP universe :)
Happy new year to all our wonderful authors, readers and friends. We hope 2013 brings you luck, happiness and the love of those close to you.
We are now taking requests for 2013 challenges!
We look forward to bringing you a whole new year of wonderful fics and amazing authors as we enter in Granger Enchanted's 7th year!
MistressMalfoy, sirsevchick, lupinswolfie and dhlane xoxo
Just a quick note to let everyone know that between the 24th of December (Australian Eastern Standard Time) and the 3rd of January, the lovely witches of GE will be on hols!
As you are all aware, everyone who works at GE is a volunteer and needs a much deserved break away from validating, wonderful stories and dunderheads (lol)
If you submit your story during this period please do not expect it to be validated until after the 3rd of January.
If my beautiful witches get bored they may come and validate but please don't get upset if your fic sits there until after the new year.
I hope everyone has a safe, happy and prosperous Christmas and New Year.
Be kind to your family, don't pout and have lots of fizzy pops (lol) to get you through the hols heehee
MistressMalfoy, DHLane, Sirsevchick and Lupinswolfie xoxoxo
Once again, I am reminded that I must post my annual news post to inform you that:
YOU MUST HAVE A BETA...YOU MUST HAVE A BETA...YOU MUST HAVE A BETA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU MUST HAVE A DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!
Now, that being said, your beta must have a basic understanding of grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and canon knowledge amongst the many other things that are necessary for a good beta. (<--- See, run on sentence..BAD BAD)
Please keep in mind that the submission rules are not there just to take up space on a page, but are there to assist you as an author and member to submit your story successfully. Also, while having a beta increases your chances of being validated it is not a guarantee of validation. We look at everything; plot, characterization and the list goes on and on. No one wants anyone to fail, but please follow the rules.
I post this every single year and every year, I receive pledges of support and love. What I really want is action and follow through. The submission witches read through hundreds of submissions yearly. We enjoy many of them and would like to see all of the authors posted, but if there is not compliance with the rules, there is no validation.
I don't want to be rude, but I send out this news article yearly and in countless rejection letters. I want the authors to succeed and I want the lovely members to enjoy a good story.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.
Tis the anniversary of the birth of our darling Mistress and we want to wish her the happiest of days that spill over into the next year. We are hoping that all your most hearfelt of wishes come true (served on a sterling silver tray by Lucius wearing naught but a tea towel while Loki serves you grapes. Lol.)
So may oodles of starshine and moonbeams and hugs and love come winging your way from across timelines and oceans, through forests and foul weather to bring you the good wishes of all of us.
Love you lots,
DHLane, Sirsevchick, and Lupinswolfie
PS - Check out the featured stories and more of her stories. They all are amazing!!
Hi my loves! It is that time again- CHRISTMAS (yay cheers claps ew lol) and our Christmas challenge will be starting early. The prompt table is something we haven't yet tried but have been participants in other prompt table exchanges.
So how does it work?
1. Each author is allowed to pick two words from the prompt table. Each word can only be picked once. As the word is claimed, it will be struck through and your name placed next to it.
2. Fics must be in by December 20th (no exceptions this is Christmas fics remember?)
3. The minimum word count is 2000
4. Lucky Dip words can be chosen in place of ONE of your two words. There are five lucky dips to choose from and we are allowing two authors a chance at each lucky dip, so there will be ten lucky dip words in total. (No lucky dip word will be the same)
4A. If you ae having trouble deciding you can request the random number generator to pick for you! :D
5. Happy endings are an absolute must, (yes nottonyharrison I am looking at you!)
6. All fics must be beta read!
7. HAVE FUN!! :D :D :D
Comment here to pick your words or be given a randomly picked word set!!
NO TIME WASTERS! If you do not think you can submit a fic on time, have let me down in the past then please don't bother. Let someone who will actually write a fic have a word instead.
First let me say thank you to all the authors who got their fics into the exchange on time, you certainly kept my stress levels low :D
For those who did contact me and didn't get their fics in, I appreciate your efforts and really hope to see the fics up soon in the archive xoxo
For those who ignored my emails and didn't bother to contact me at all yet still clogged up my time with chasing and begging for your fics to come in- you really suck.
Now onto the winners!!
Best Overall Fic in the Exchange
Of Wolf and Man by Nathaniel Cardeu
Best Original Use of Prompt
Parallel to the dark by nottonyharrison!
Guess the Author!
Brandy01 lol she guessed 12 out of 14!!
Now onto the big reveal!
1. A bit of this and that Author: bunnyhops
2. Arithmantic Love Author: MistressMalfoy
3. Assumptions, the mother of all... Author: ImTrouble
4. Atramentum Author: brandy01
5. Battle of Wills Author: Miss Fantastic
6. Butterfly Author: Savva
7. Common People Author: nottonyharrison
8. Desidero Author: DHLane
9. Greener Pastures Author: Mihnn
10. Inheritance Author: Brandy01
11. No more mistakes Author: RustyWeasley
12. Of Wolf and man Author: Nathaniel Cardeu
13. Parallel to the dark Author: nottonyharrison
14. The sword of Gryffindor Author: Brandy01
Hello darlings!! As promised Fuh-q-Fest voting is now opened and you can vote by following the link below!! Voting will end in three days time!
Hello my buttons!! I hope you're all enjoying the fuh-q-fest fics! As the remaining stragglers slowly drip in I wanted to make this news post to let you know a little about the voting, how it will work and the remaining challenges for this year!
Voting will be conducted on LJ again to be fair to every voter and ensure no one is making fake accounts and cheating. (We've had this before in the past)
Categories will be as follows:
1. Best In Fic (Best overall fic)
2. Guess the Author
3. Best use of Prompt
(Guess the author will list the fics and then the authors who participated and readers have to guess who wrote what!)
Voting will commence on Sunday Australian Eastern Standard Time and will run for three days before I will reveal the authors on LJ and GE!
Rest of the year challenges!
November is Indecent Proposal Month!
The challenge will be based around the following prompt:
One Million Galleons to sleep with him/her for one night, then they can leave, no strings attached.
We've all seen the movie, Demi Moore and Robert Redford but of course we need a Hermione Granger Twist!
Points for including the following:
1. Hermione is the rich witch indecently proposing to wizards
2. Hermione ends up with the rich wizard at the end and not her poor lover
3. The indecent proposal can include debt repayment, life debts etc
(Indecent Proposal challenge will begin on October 20th and finish on November 20th)
It's beginning to look a lot like...a Hermione Granger Christmas!
It's Christmas, time for celebrations, presents and a roast with all the trimmings...right?
Well no- this is Hermione Granger and nothing ever goes to plan!
Themes for it's the HG Christmas Challenge are being accepted and you can post here or contact me on email with your ideas!!
Any questions, post them here! xo
Hello all :) I just wanted to bring a problem we've been having to everyone's attention.
In the Fuh-Q-Fest alone I have had to remove six reviews that were borderline flaming, nasty, cruel or just plain critical.
You have every right to your opinion, but please remember that the authors here at GE do not get paid, they are generally not mainstream published authors and have worked hard to bring you a story they enjoyed creating.
You are not an armchair critic, you cannot tell an author how their story should be written, argue with them in reviews or accuse an author of plagiarism (see me for that before you go off at someone) and the worst of all- criticise the author on their writing style etc when your review resembles a pre-schooler's homework.
In saying that, authors appreciate reviews, they are oxygen to every author and without them most authors just won't bother posting anymore.
GE survives on authors, we survive on new stories and older updates, if we don't show our appreciation to the authors of this site then they will go elsewhere.
So remember that when you read a story you've enjoyed or liked even a little bit, leave some love, tell the author you appreciate their story.
Leave the nastiness for the playground or your personal lives, we do not want it here, I won't stand for my authors being harassed or made to feel terrible if they (and we) have missed grammar errors, a full stop here and there etc.
And if you think you can do a better job, do it and stop complaining :)
If anyone has any complaints or problems with a story I would advise you to contact me directly using the contact feature at the bottom of the page.
The fest has been extended until the 7th xox
Please remember that authors survive on reviews and love, so if you've read it an enjoyed it, please leave a review!
Fuh-Q- Fest dates are getting super close and now is the time to be contacting me if you need an extension or a beta/cheerleader!
Please remember a few things when submitting your fic for the Fuh-Q-Fest
1. All fics will go through the general submissions queue and are subject to our terms and conditions
2. Just because the fic is for the Fuh-Q-Fest does not guarantee acceptance into the archive
3. All stories must be read by a beta. If you are a beta yourself you still need a beta for your story.
4. Only word document will be accepted anything else will be returned to you unopened
5. All stories must contain the following template
PLEASE PLACE THIS TEMPLATE (FILLED IN) AT THE TOP OF YOUR STORY (Not in the body of the email)
DO NOT PUT HTML TAGS IN YOUR FIC! If you are using word, we are able to simply copy and paste your story already formatted!
Comments/Author's Notes: (Please remember that even beta names should not be referred to when submitting your fic, but thanks are always welcome to those who helped you!)
Email stories to email@example.com xo
Round two signups for the Fuh-Q-Fest is now active. Those wishing to grab a prompt (from what's left) or those who wish to adopt a second or third prompt are now invited to come across to the Live Journal and request a prompt.
For those of you without a Live Journal Account, please feel free to message me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject heading ADOPT A PROMPT! (please include the template that is on the following link)
The Fuh-Q-Fest Sign up post is now open on Live Journal! You need to be a member of Live Journal to participate as as author in the fest!
Please consider the rules carefully before joining in the fest!
All rules, sign up dates etc are now available on the live journal post...
As Fuh-Q-Fest is winning in the poll, I am going to open up this news post for people to express interest in the up and coming fest.
How does a Fuh-Q-Fest work?
1. During a week long period we will accept prompts for the fest. Prompts should be in the form of a detailed sentence. (If more clarification is needed I will post examples leading up to the prompt requests)
2. Prompts will be released on our live journal account and authors will 'claim' a prompt- the prompt is then crossed out as 'claimed'
3. You have a month to write your fic and email it in.
4. Fuh-Q-Fest entries will be posted under an anonymous account until after the voting period has finished.
5. Prompts can be volunteered by readers and authors alike, but cannot be claimed by the person who volunteered the prompt.
6. Fuh-Q-Fest is an adult fest, R-NC17 fics only, no M15 or below.
7. They must feature Hermione as the main character.
8. Prompts can include a requested pairing but the author does not have to fulfil that request if they do not wish to.
9. Once you have signed up for a prompt you must complete it! Please don't bother signing up or requesting a prompt if you will not complete.
Any questions, concerns or clarification needed? Comment here.
Expressions of interest should also be left here. I will only commence the fest once I have fifteen authors willing to participate.
It’s that time of year again!! Admin will sound like a broken record, you will painfully head desk at the thought of reading another tedious news post regarding being nice! But here it is…so enjoy my loves!!
Emailing admin is simple and you can make the process a lot simpler and positive if you follow these easy steps!!
1. Have you checked the help file?
Yes? Wonderful all your questions should be answered there, if not feel free to email us!
No! Okay then, first step is to click the help file- this is located at the top of the page in between ‘browse’ and ‘top tens’. You can also find a link to the help file at the bottom of the site, on the left.
2. You want to change your username?
If you are a registered and published author, we are more than happy to do this for you. If you were simply drunk, high on life, feeling a bit silly or a teenager when you created a username and now BigRump99 no longer suits you- well I’m sorry we will not change usernames because you have outgrown it or now hate it. We receive around fifty requests a day for this and I do not have time to sift through usernames to change yours.
3. My password doesn’t work raaawwwwrr it’s all your fault, fix it now or I’ll go somewhere else!! ROAR
Um… LOL! The passwords are GENERATED! I do not sit behind my laptop all day, rubbing my hands together in glee just at the thought of your head going bald in pulling-out- hair- frustration because the password is slightly difficult. Copy it letter for letter, number for number etc. Make sure your caps lock is not turned on and you’re not using a foreign language keyboard! Heehee!
4. Are you sure you want to threaten me?
Threats are taken extremely seriously. I have a life, a nice full happy one- as do my beautiful admin witches who have better things to do than read through your angry rant filled, poorly spelled emails.
Any member who threatens admin in whatever regard will have their IP blocked from our system, never to be released again. *This is where you should insert the evil maniacal laughter*
5. We haven’t answered your email!
Oh noes! 1. Check your spam email for the auto respond email- it contains all the answers to your questions 2. If you are in desperate need of help we will respond to you after placing your email in a priority queue. 3. Telling me to go fuck myself will not work- I have a husband for that thank you very much!
6. Do you have manners?
Well, we do. And in return we expect a modicum of polite behaviour when sending Admin an email. Be concise, list your problems and you will be answered as soon as humanly possible.
Some examples of how not to email admin…
“Lost my password get me a new one.”
“You need to delete my account now!”
“I don’t know my username you need to delete my old one so I can sign up again.” *coughs* If you don’t know your username how am I supposed to?
“I am now a professional and want my account deleted because I am soooo terrified my real life friends/workmates/family/homeless guy on the street, will Google search my username of FreshBananasAreAwesome and ruin my perfectly wonderful life!” I mean honestly? Do you truly believe people in your life have nothing better to do than search for your random username and then taunt you for being a member of a Harry Potter FF site? Ever heard of Deny Deny Deny?
“I’m on my phone and you need to build a mobile site just for me.” At this time we will not be making a mobile site.
<--- Blank emails… I won’t chase after you asking what you need, want or wish to complain about. If you are using Internet Explorer you won’t get a message through, this topic has been beaten to death and is also in the auto responder email that you receive! If you read through it carefully you will not need to follow up your initial blank email with a rude demanding one.
7. Can you type or understand the English language?
Whilst this bothers me less than rude emails, the language barrier can sometimes be very demanding and hard to get around. Please be aware that if we send you a reply asking you to be more specific, we are not having a go at your country nor are we teasing you for not having a solid grasp on the English language. We want to help you, please remember this when emailing us back and being obnoxious.
I grew up in a world of books, pencils, dictionaries/thesauruses therefore I barely understand netspeak. Please recall your wonderful English language when constructing an email because if you write in netspeak, use numbers instead of letters- I really don’t want to spend the next ten hours using an online decipher tool to figure out what you need :D
9. “You need to fix the website.” Nine times out of ten there is nothing wrong with our website. If we are having server problems it will be listed on the Ge Facebook Page.
10. Complaining about a rejection. We do not sit here – again- rubbing our hands together in glee at the thought of rejecting you. All of our validators are accredited Betas with enough degrees and education to put everyone else to shame (including me). Please take their advice seriously and remember WE ARE NOT YOUR BETAS, we will not list every single mistake in your fic for you to fix easily. This is your job and most importantly your beta’s job.
11. I am looking for a fic. Where is this fic? I think you should write this. I think this story can be improved how do I contact the author to tell them so?
Unfortunately we do not have the facilities for Fic Recs but we do have a nifty search feature that will help you search for titles or authors. If you wish for a more specific search, please head to the forums!
12. You send us a rude, horribly condescending email about how terrible our site is, how badly we phrase our submission rules, how the news has some spelling mistakes, how we haven't used correct punctuation, grammar etc yet your email is filled with the same above complaint.
My replies tend to be well thought out and I generally run through about ten drafts until I am happy with my response (trust me when I say you wouldn't want to read the drafts as they usually tell you just what your complaint can do with itself). In saying that, emailing me back with claims of having an 'illness' 'mental deficiency' or 'bad eyesight' will not help your case. If you have the balls to call us out on so called mistakes, be prepared to receive an email back correcting your email in the politest way possible. (you would be surprised with the amount of these emails I receive and then have an illness thrown in my face as the reason)
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my yearly rant and to those who send beautifully crafted emails, with manners, correct spelling and not a lick of netspeak in sight. These emails are generally answered first as they are a pleasure to read.